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Little Women The Girlfriend is a woman.
The Girlfriend has two daughters. I have one daughter. Do you know what that means? It means that I am constantly surrounded by females. When I discuss this with my guy friends, they all louis vuitton briefcase laptop bag shake their heads and ask what it like living with four females. (1) Do you know how long it takes three little girls to get ready in the morning? On average, they each need to brush their hair about louis vuitton bracelet 2012 2,304 times before they even think about brushing their teeth. If I need to take a shower in the morning, I set my alarm to beat the morning rush. If the shower takes more than three minutes, I start hearing little fists pounding on the bathroom door. (2) Sometimes I leave the apartment just to take a crap. (3) When you live with four females, the odds are high that at least one of them is going to be mad at you at any given time. As men, we learn at a young age that the best way to deal with an angry female is to avoid her. We also know that women are like wolves. When one is mad at you, they circle the wagons and mark you as prey. No man in history has survived the wrath of multiple females. It like being on the wrong end of a fast break on the basketball court. You run back to play defense but the odds are that someone is going to dunk on your head. Your only option is to flee the apartment immediately. Preferrably to go take a crap. (4) The Drama! Oh, the Drama! (5) The average female takes approximately 78 minutes to get ready to leave the apartment. Ok, now multiply that by four and you have a brief semblance of what it takes to go out for a simple family dinner. Mahatma Gandhi once said, "patience louis vuitton handbag amazon uk means self suffering." Gandhi had four sons. They like miniature chihuahas possessed by Satan, caked in mud and adrenaline. The boys I see while chaperoning school trips never cease to amaze me. On one recent 2nd grade outing, I watched a boy repeatedly bang his head against the side of a school bus until he almost passed out. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he said "It fun. Try it!" I then looked over to see his dim witted dummy friends doing the same exact thing. louis vuitton a french saga amazon Total. Fucking. Morons. Friends of mine have a boy who has so much excess energy that they were forced to erect a trampoline in their backyard so the kid could burn off all the reckless energy and wouldn set the house on fire. Think I kidding? According to a recent study, a baby boy is 76% more likely to set something his parents own ablaze. Boys are also much more likely to bully, use drugs, be violent, and go to jail. This also means that they much more likely to shorten what left of my precious life span. Besides, have you hung out with any teenage boys lately? These kids speak mainly in audible grunts and nods. I'd be shocked if their facial muscles actually work. once wrote about how much more interesting girls are than boys. They sensitive creatures who notice the world around them and take part in doing things that boys wouldn even notice. They thoughtful little flowers who treat people well and, for the most part, genuinely care about those around them. is, of course, a generalization; a lot of girls end up being selfish and obnoxious as grown ups, just as some men are really sensitive and thoughtful. But I generally prefer spending time in the presence of females. Girls are good roommates; they good company when you go shopping; they able to talk openly about their feelings; and they a lot of fun to hang out with in the car when you just sitting in traffic (nothing in life warms the cockles of my jaded heart more than hearing three little girls sing Adele songs from the back seat while we jammed up on I 495 in a soul crushing traffic jam that makes downtown Beijing look like the Bonneville Salt Flats.) Those little things add up to a better life. Also, in all honesty, I 43 years old. I think I too old to have a son. After a long day at work, I really don want to go outside and toss a football with a boy, or bounce him around on the trampoline for hours, or go coach his Little League team. Now that I worry about three little girls? It all I ever think about. While I contemplate the myriad of ways to build their confidence and self esteem, nurture their creativity, and foster their talents, I also think about all the positive hopes I have for them in the future. I hope they never lose their spark. I hope they always honest and act with integrity. I hope they find partners who love, respect and honor them. I hope they always make the right decisions that will offer them a lifetime of happiness. Her first tooth, she lost at school. The second, she swallowed. And the third was extracted via dental floss and the help of some of her friends. I remember losing my first tooth as a kid. I was so fucking excited that I ran up to my dad, showed him the missing tooth, and told him I couldn wait for the Tooth Fairy to come visit me that night. If memory serves correctly, he opened his wallet, tossed me a single, and said, "There is no tooth fairy, kid.
Go buy yourself a comic book." When the Peanut first tooth came out, she was so sad about losing it that we spent over two hours writing a letter to the Tooth Fairy that would have put the epistolary chapters of "Pride and Prejudice" to shame. The letter was replete with time lapse descriptions of the loss, detailed drawings of said missing tooth, and heartfelt pleas for clemency.
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